Saturday, March 16, 2013

Spiritual Gifts

On September 1, 2001, I was watching CNN in my room at the downtown YWCA.  Two things happened for me immediately.  The first thing that happened is I dug out my homemade tarot cards and did a quick reading.  As some of you know, the next card that came up was the two tower card!  I was actually watching when the 2nd tower was hit, as I had evidence from the cards a few minutes before. 

My understanding from the woman who sent me to the Aglow meeting in Granville in the late 80's is that I have been given a spiritual gift.  According to her, there are 9 spiritual gifts.  The one she claimed I had was "the gift of long suffering".  I was disappointed of course because long suffering doesn't seem like much of a gift!  I would have rather had almost any of the other of the the gift of prophesy would be pretty nice.  What I didn't know, that she who assigned that gift to me could actually arrange the suffering part!  This morning I found dead animal parts outside my door by my mailbox.  This is a well known ritual abuse technique to try to trigger the victim (in this case me).  This sort of torture (involving animals) has been going on since college days.  I confess that back then this sort of thing triggered me into a state of mind that made it impossible to attend class or hold down a job.  Those of you who may wonder why and how I get a disability check, realize that ritual abuse is at the heart of my mental duress.  It started way back at age 4, and continues to this day!  Funny thing is the church of the double cross actually believes I somehow deceived a panel of 12 experts to get my disability check.  Maybe instead of being jealous of me and my check, they should examine how in fact their systematic torture may have caused it!   My suspicion is that since Aglow is an international organization, that no matter where I go, they will be able to find me... I confess to have developed a sort of autism to the gory animal part "gifts".  It says much more about the cult, than it does about me.  It evens prove the validity of what I reported to government agencies 11 years ago, that it is still going on...just in case they want to look into a type of internal terrorism that has been least the foreign terrorism was over and done with.  Ritualistic abuse survivors must live in a constant vigilant state of terror, while everyone else gets to just pretend that the victim is the crazy one.  The similarity in the two types of terrorism is that neither the FBI or the CIA could stop the offenders in spite of the Intel they had.  I am being to realize that any time a crime is really solved is a bonafide miracle.
All that being said, perhaps the woman who sent me to the Aglow meeting where the speaker was allegedly born with no eyes but grew them miraculously later (rolls my one eye for emphasis.), maybe she was right.  Maybe I have been endowed with the gift of long suffering, in spite of the cults attempts to destroy me.  The same scripture mentions other gifts, and it does not limit the believer to just one, so there may be some truth to it, even though the cult has fabricated it.  They can arrange coincidence, but they risk exposing themselves when they do.  Wouldn't that be funny,  them thinking they could trick me into believing something they themselves don't believe, and therefore needed to fabricate?  That's fanatics for you.  They would actually tamper with, and fabricate something that "higher power" is in charge of, rather than trust that the process doesn't need their manipulation...or interpretation for that matter.  They delude themselves, and have not ever really tricked me, except into a situation where I can't overlook their misconceptions.  "Police arrested magic, and magic went with them".  I believe that is Leanaard Cohen, but I heard it from Buffy St. Marie (God Is Alive And Magic Is Afoot).  It always struck me as the truth...which becomes a commodity when surrounded by deceivers LOL.  But maybe that poor deluded woman was wrong in the first place...maybe I have been given another kind of sight that is not on the list of the 9 spiritual gifts.  The kind of sight that would replace my missing left eye.  I have always heard that God opens a window, when the door is closed.  The God that I would choose to believe in would not let me be deceived or blindsided, but she would allow the deceivers a chance at redemption.  For now, I am in a holding pattern behind enemy lines.  The good thing about when I catch someone in a lie, is that I never have to believe any thing they say again.  "In the kingdom of the blind, the one eyed man is king"!

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