Friday, November 9, 2012


I took this shot of my studio today as I was walking out the door.  I hate leaving there in the afternoon, when the sun light is streaming in.  It doesn't take much to make me happy... I realize now.  I saw a picture of myself from three summers ago when I was painting at Nesley's with Bonie B doing her ceiling.  I have lost probably over 80 pounds of weight since then...maybe more.  I can't tell as I don't have scales and have not been on scales since my doctor retired two summers ago.  I have not done any dieting or given up anything that I can consciously think of.  I realize people would love to know my secret.  Hell, I would love to know my secret!  My secret was secret from me until yesterday when I saw that picture!  I suspect it is because I only spend an hour at a time on the computer (3 or 4 times a week), and do not have a TV (with commercials that cause people to want to eat every 20 minutes).  I see so much in that photo that Bonie took that day.  I see me as a 280 pound woman who can barely get up and down a step ladder, and I can see that I was happy to be on a job site working alongside of my friend!  I wasn't very good at being a stay at home girlfriend.  I was always happiest when I was out doing a little job, or out doing a project.  Between Lori's unpaid phone bill, and my counterclaim against Nesley, they socked me over $3000.  They teamed up to do that, although I may not get the chance to prove it.  Pathetic when you consider how loyal I was to each of them.  I was loyal to each of them until what they were doing and how they were treating me stopped my loyalty in it's tracks.  I may never be able to trust any one ever again because of the two of them.  I hope so.  I hope it was a character flaw in them, rather than me.  I have been told I am trusting to a fault.  But loyalty is another matter altogether. 
My weight loss was noticed by several people, but I thought they were just trying to be nice or something.  I don't have much body consciousness.  Most of what goes on in me, happens up in my head.  But that picture from 3 years ago is more convincing than any scale or any compliment.  So dramatic.  I am much happier now that I don't live with a hoarder.  I wasn't all that keen on living in Linden either.  My first night there, they stole my lawn dwarf!  The week before I moved in, they tried to steal the gutters off the house.  I moved there because I thought it would be good for Lori and my relationship.  What I didn't know was that Nesley was working against that ever happening.  Maybe Lori knows that now, and maybe she doesn't.  Hopefully she will find out before Nesley screws her over!  Although, I shouldn't care...not really.  Not after how both of them treated me.  They deserve one another!
I couldn't have much of a studio at Lori's house, and my studio in Linden was constantly flooding.  It was very hard to get anything done in either place.
All that has happened is probably for the best it seems.  I may not be back here to blog before my trial as I am expecting metal in the mail and excited to get some new projects off to a good start before Christmas.  I have applied for a grant and may have some money coming my way in about 4 weeks.  As soon as my trial and tribulation is over I may start writing the outline for a book that one of the librarians convinced me I should write (after reading my court summary).  I would have rather been working on a book, than writing a court summary for sure.  That has been my point all along.  Maybe if I kick the evil ones hard enough in the teeth this time, word will get around to any other evil ones that want to screw with me.  I come out swinging, and unless you are up for the task...just stay the hell out of my light!

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