Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Inspiring Lecture

I went to a lecture on Saturday here at the library.  The man who spoke is a famous author who writes novels about war...particularly the civil war.  I had several click experiences while listening to him, the main one that kept coming up for me was his desire to tell us stories that are not known about the wars.  I look forward to reading some of Jeff's work, as I begin my own process of writing my own book.  My librarian friends have encouraged and helped me begin to form an outline and are going to help me get funding as well.  I too have war stories to share.  Stories that most people don't know and even more people wouldn't believe.
Writing for me has always been a way of purging.  I don't fancy myself as a writer per say...but more of a journalist...ethnographer style.  As I have a break from the worries of my upcoming "trial" and the "tribulations" that both preceded it and will most likely proceed it, I realize that no one would understand what is happening between me and "the plaintiff" without the construct of ritualistic abuse.  In 1999 I read a book about ritualistic abuse that pretty much defined the personal war I had just endured.  It was freeing in most ways, but in order to escape the post traumatic stress that I inevitably picked up, I had to leave my home town.

When I moved away in 1999 I had been victimized by a very large cult.  I was so traumatized by the experience that I isolated myself and broke all ties with anyone I had known from the cult...except Nesley Thomas "my current plaintiff"!  Nesley and Jeanne seemed to leave the cult because they witnessed the abuse, and no longer wanted to have anything to do with them.  I must confess that I never quite trusted that they were not "assigned" to me to make sure I was neutralized.  I had limited contact with them as I made new friends and new contacts...some of which were involved in deprogramming.  

Since college and college level philosophy I have pondered whether evil actually knows it is evil.  After all these years I realize it is moot as being in the company of evil whether or not it knows itself is a trigger for me.  It just doesn't matter if evil is aware of itself...I can't be around it, don't want to be around it, and will do just about anything to keep it out of my life.

That Granville cult is still in existence and I most certainly did not expect to end up back here in Licking County where it is located.  But I have to go where the chips have fallen.  But while I am here, I am going to be doing everything in my power to expose the offenders who have survived in my absence.  I recently got a comment on an old blog about the "wingless angels" a 110 year old cult that still operates at Denison University, and most certainly was linked to the cult that I was involved with. The recent local news article about the new Denison Labyrinth certainly pushed my buttons...as there is a person quoted in the article that claims the labyrinth I helped construct was made 3 years ago, when in fact it was more like 16 years ago!  Who would care, but the artist that really spearheaded the project right?  I care.  I was there 16 years ago when we made the portable labyrinth for the Granville First Baptist Church (Cult).  They have changed their name, but not their game.  They have always had their hand in revisionism which most of the public does not know about, nor care.  Nesley Thomas was also there and she made a video.  I have that video, I have the molds, templates and even the pencils we used to draw it.

Cult and Ritualistic experts would urge me to get rid of those materials as they might serve as "triggers".  I did burn a bunch of files in 2011, but there were too many to burn, and I have had to rest in between burnings.  

Jeff Shaara's stories are unique and authentic.  He goes out of his way to retrieve authentic material like first hand accounts in order to craft his stories.  I won't be getting rid of any more of the evidence that I can use to expose the cult, expose it's methods, and hopefully expose the individuals (criminals) that continue to operate modus operandi.  

Nesley has Lori under her control these days...or so she thinks.  I totally expect the "re victimization" tactics to try to derail my efforts to expose Nesley's criminal activity.  I realize she was and probably still is a member of the cult I escaped from in 1999.  I applaud myself for never fully trusting her.  I couldn't.  Her affair with a married man, her sex toy business that keeps her tenants in bondage, her drug dealing that involved teenagers...those things creeped me out and so I could not participate in most activities and had to insulate myself to a certain extent.  She would have no power whatsoever over Lori if Lori would just find a different drug dealer.  Perhaps she will get tired of the abuse of animals and children (Nesley is a pedophile).  There isn't a bag of dope in the world worth exposing yourself to an offender.  I would just rather go without.  They are such buzz kills!

Now before you all get your panties in a bundle because you feel I might just expose your criminal activity...remember I gave you the opportunity to leave me alone and you didn't.  Had you not sent two shitheads after me and tampered with my girlfriends sanity, I might be inclined to let you go.  But you didn't.  I want you to know, I still have my original core in tact, and there is nothing you can do to trigger me into being a victim.  You set the trap, and you are in it.  Let go of the fruit (it's rotten anyway).  

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