Dry Well

Why go to dry wells looking for water?  That is the kindest thing I can think to say to any of my born again Christian friends who have been so worried about my soul since my college days.  Both my grandmothers were and one still is sweet.  They taught me by example to be polite.  This is why in the late 80's when I was invited to a women's Aglow meeting where the speaker claimed to have been born without eyes, but miraculously healed that I chose not to make a scene, leave, and call up the woman who invited me to rage at her.  It was pathetic then, and it was equally pathetic in my grandmothers time.  In my grandmothers time, these poor lost souls would follow the tent revivals from town to town, and they got healed over and over each night at alter call.  Thankfully my parents warned me that because of my blindness in my left eye that folks would try to manipulate me into believing my sight would be restored.  Thankfully that has only happened on a couple occasions and I was smart enough to get away from them.  One of my grandmothers was an every Sunday without fail Christian.  She didn't have to be born again, she just was in the first place.
In college I met Stan Tinon who taught me a few things about how to think about Christianity that did not involve "blind faith".  Stan went to school and went on to become a preacher and missionary in this community.  I embrace his teachings, but I reject each and every church I have ever followed him into.  The first church I followed the Tinon's to the preacher ended up being a pedophile, caught in a public park as I recall.  I remember that I didn't trust that man, and just couldn't put words to it.  I thought about the most important allegory that Stan ever gave me in relation to Christianity, and it still holds true after all these years.  He compared Christianity to a lion.  It went something like this.  If Christianity is a lion, then the lion doesn't need a human standing out in front of it, waving his arms trying to protect the lion.  It is a funny image really.  If I were not so mad at the deceivers from the Aglow meeting that went on to create look alike groups in Granville in the name of tricking their own children into fake occult groups, then I would feel sorry for them.  And who knows, maybe someday I can get to the place of forgiving them for trying to deceive me.  Lucky for them, and me, that I don't have to do that.  The lion will forgive them LOL!

I know I have written about Gayle Woodsum's book The Ultimate Challenge in prior blogs.  She and I corresponded back in the days when I had escaped the unneeded hysterectomy from The Women Who Have Options group that functioned out of The First Baptist Church.  Gayle encouraged me to reread the book from time to time as there were layers of learning.  To tell the truth it is not recreational reading and if I thought I could just forget about my own ritual abuse background and never think about it again, I would.  I would even give my copy to some other poor suffering victim if I thought that giving it away would help me and them.  But as long as that church is still operating under the guise of saving souls, and as long as they continue to try to harm me, such as the recent attempt to get my landlord to hassle me, then I not only need to keep my book, but I have to reread it in spite of not wanting to think about these things.  So last night I was doing just that and came upon one of those layers she was talking about on page 77.  Gayle says 
 "Often adult victims are subjected to such unneeded surgery as hysterectomy, with elaborate rituals surrounding the operation".  I have not ever seen that passage before in her book (after at least 3 readings), but it came through loud and clear in last nights reading.  That describes exactly what I went through in that Church in 1998.  So don't try and tell me it is unheard of.  She also has an interesting paragraph about the FBI and their spin on page 40.  I can verify that I got a similar response from them.  As I have often said "denial is the new black".  You can quote me on that dearest readership, and shadow following.  Rather than apologizing for their evil deception, they set me up for arrest and effectively silenced me.  11 years later they wish to call up my telephone harassment arrest record (as if telephone harassment is worse than a hate crime)  I assume that they actually believe what they did and continue to do is a greater good (sacrificing my reputation), or a larger truth which is a lie.  Fanatics actually believe that way!  I'm not kidding, I couldn't make this shit up.  They believe that if they can deceive one person into believing in Christianity then it is somehow alright, such as the speaker who was born with no eyes at the Ohio Women's Aglow meeting!  They really do believe it is ok to lie to people if it could possibly get them into a good church (haven't found one yet by the way...not in this county)  I honestly believe we need to start teaching critical thinking skills to our school systems as youth in this country are comfortably dumb, or they will be mindless consumers, and gullible to shit heads like The Women Who Have Options (who are not what their title says).  I have always noted that people are worried about the wrong things and not worried about the things they should worry about.  Worrying that your kids might be exposed to occult ideas in their text books, while not understanding project paperclip, monarch, MUKLTA project (look them up on Wikipedia if you don't believe me).  Once again, I couldn't make this shit up!  Don't blame me for finding out the truth when I was trying to figure out why a group of people who pretended to love me one minute, turned into a vicious circle the next.  And that law enforcement refused to look into it.  I needed answers to the questions, not hauled away and punished for finding out their deceptions.  No telling how many other poor unsuspecting women have been caught in the same trap as I was in.  In my case, it wasn't just Eugenics they were practicing it was genocide as well (last June I found out about my Native American Ancestry)  As you may recall, I caught them because they were less than thrilled with the news that I went for a second opinion and got a clean bill of health.  They were bad actors.  They should have been happy for me, but they couldn't hide their disappointment or their rage.  I carry the resentment to everyone that was involved in that.  If they go to some sort of heaven, I sure as hell don't want to join them there.  My word of advise as far as their kids that they were so worried about learning anything about the occult is,  don't let them catch you lying, because they won't ever have to believe you again!
I slept soundly last night in spite of the reading about horrors that I should never have to face again.  I don't guess my offenders sleep as soundly as I do LOL!  I woke up laughing this morning with a new thought about the Nazi's that we let into this country to practice science...and most probably genetic science was included in the menu.  It wasn't wrong for our government to give them asylum rather than execute them.  But...we should have sterilized them in exchange.  My theory is that the FBI has to protect them as our government did that.  But it is outrageous to allow them to practice Eugenics in our community.  The Women Who Have Options were and are deceivers.  I know that, and I knew that when they tried to trick me.  As long as they are allowed free range to practice in our county, no woman is safe.  Period.
Now if they don't want me to write about this every day, and read Gayles book over and over again after you have re-traumatized me, then they certainly need to back the fuck off of me.  Leave my landlord alone, and I better see a retraction of that fictional story about my labyrinth in the paper soon.  Believe you me, I want to move somewhere where it is safe to live.  It is not safe to live here with a nest of WASPS running our hospital, and legal system.  Message to the remaining cult members "Just send me a check for a moving van, and enough money added for rent money and deposits and I will go quietly and soon as the check clears" (Nesley and her attorney tried to trick me into moving with the promise of paying me the money to move, and I sensed the deception, but had fun playing along no less).  I will accept cash, checks, and money orders...LOL.  I will leave immediately and get busy doing my art and music for a safer community.  The longer I am here, and the more you attempt to torture and trick me, the more I will expose you.  I have not published your names (yet), but for 11 years I have given out your names and I did report you to your respective medical boards when I was safe (I thought) in Columbus.  I could never be sure that you didn't try to track me with Nesley, but had no proof, so I tolerated her, but never trusted her completely.  I told her I objected to her bringing teenagers into my home...so did Lori!  We were not into contributing to the delinquency of minors....just simply trying to score a little bag of dope!  I knew that I would find out what I needed to know, when I needed to know it.  I still believe that my lease protected me, more than it will favor her (we'll see come April 4th).  Columbus legal system is not as easily manipulated as Licking County.  She has a false sense of security in addition to her grandiosity and greed.  I think the Judge was suspicious of Blankenship, and probably suspicious of all the continuances.  I wouldn't place your bets on Nesley if I were you.  But you can go ahead and give her a false sense of security and maybe even trick her into believing you support her as you did me!  She self deludes as often as she self medicates LOL!  She is probably more gullible than I am because she spends so much time in deception.  Speaking of deceptions...  your deceptions have not ever convinced me that Christianity in this town is anything but a dry well, and the more I am exposed to it, the more I realize you all probably murdered my friend Bob Bueler.  That makes your style of Christianity a very dangerous thing and your church a very dangerous place to go.  No day care there for my loved ones...not on my watch!
  I better not see any of you (fascist, Nazi ass wipes) at my future art shows, you have lost your right to be in my presence.  I saw you all at The Works last art show I had here in Newark (1995?), and I left immediately.  Thank God none of you fundies showed up this month in Westerville (talk about a buzz kill)!  It is pretty sad that I had to leave my own art show because you didn't have the decency to let me have just one day to be proud of my achievements (1995).  You don't control me, and you probably delude yourselves to think you control your kids!
I apologize to my dearest and regular readers for my rants....but these people have caused me great pain throughout most of my adult life, in the name of Christianity, and I resent them for continuing their crusades on my doorstep.  They still burn witches today dear readers.....they just do it on paper!  They risk exposure each and every time they try to trigger me.  My prayers are that my God/Goddess will expose them.  I realize that she will give them every opportunity to change their ways.   Nuff said for now.